The other day at work I had my thirty day review. My performance was evaluated and I was offered some helpful critics and positive feedback. This corporate ideal has got me thinking. Don't we all need a 30 day review when life throws us curves. Just to sit back and see what we have learned or what needs improvement. To write out our missteps and make a plan for the future.
My life has changed dramatically in the last 30 days. I went from stay at home to working outside the house. My husband's company closed up shop and he has assumed the stay at home dad job for the time being. We talk at night about how hard our days have been and he says "I know isn't that so hard" (for me leaving the kids) and I say "Oh honey those days are the worst" (the kids screaming and fighting over everything)! We understand better now than ever before the ups and downs of our previous career paths. Most people would say that it is tragic that his company has closed down but I am truly trying to see it as a gateway for him. He gets to experience all the wonders of our children full time 24/7 while searching for the right opportunity to a career path he is not only good at but loves.
How have I handled the situation you may ask? To be honest I am blindly forging ahead. (who has time to think) Going from stay at home mom to working mom is a huge difference. I think there are subtle lines mothers have drawn in the sand and it is hard to toe between the two. Sahm's have to balance so much on their plates with very little positive feedback. For me being a Sahm was an extreme sport. I am trying to figure out the words to explain it and really extreme sport is a pretty good way. You are constantly taking risks with your physical health, while protecting your little daredevils, one minute your super mom and then the next you are a meanie, you are the administrator of your families lives, the cook, the housekeeper and all around go to it person for any problems that arise. All the while trying to look good, maintain or make friends, and find a little time for yourself. For me it was my calling to stay at home with them. So now I have had to make a different life choice. (it is really freaking hard)
I have always tried to see understand the working moms plight. Well I will be honest I was not even close. How you women do it everyday and make it look so easy is beyond me. Maybe with practice I will get there too. I think the hardest part for me is letting go of my kids for 9 to 10 hours a day. I was chatting with a friend who has always worked and asked her "how do you let go of the guilt"? Her advice was "Don't think about it"! I am pretty sure that my children's lives are just as great with my husband being with them as they were with me. (probably better, he is super dad) (and he cleans too) I just miss being with them. However I really like how challenged I am at work and interacting with adults who don't cry if I make them mad is fantastic!
So how is my 30 day review shaping up? Well I think I am doing well at handling the household admin jobs, appreciating my husband, loving my kids, and enjoying my new job. I definitely need to work on time management, emotional health needs a little tweaking, and cooking has all but left the building lately. Otherwise I am doing pretty good. ( plus I am taking my friend advice and not thinking about it LOL)
Hope you enjoyed my little look at life.